Corinne’s heart is gold, her vagine is platinum and her nanny, Raquel deserves to be freed
We haven’t been covering the current season of The Bachelor US but we are from now.
‘Why?’ you ask? Simply because this trainwreck of a story is too friggin good to pass up.
If you haven’t watched the first three episodes of The Bachelor on TVNZ OnDemand, stop reading this and then come visit us later because #spoileralert. You’ve been warned.
For those of you who have been watching season 21’s villain, Corinne Olympios on your TV screen for the past three weeks, you’ll be well aware that the 24-year-old contestant has a nanny named Raquel who she has, so far, managed to survive without while on the show.
Even without her cheese pasta.
Thank f*&k for that, amiright?!
“Raquel, like, keeps my life together, OK? She makes sure that my bed is made every morning, makes my cucumber and my, like, vegetable slices for lunch. She makes me lemon salad. She knows exactly how much oil, lemon and garlic salt I like… I have tried so many times to make cheese pasta, and I can’t make cheese pasta like her,” Corrine explains.
FYI, this is the same girl who is a self-proclaimed “very serious businesswoman.”
You don’t agree? Rude.
After stripping in front of her fellow contestants and Bachelor Nick Viall in episode two and frosting her nipples with canned whipped cream (while wearing only a trench coat) in episode three, we’re surprised and shocked to say that precious Corinne has created some enemies.
Who would have thought?!
Enemies who despise her so much they’ve created a GoFundMe page to free cucumber-slicing Raquel from her employment with lemon salad-eating Corinne.
#FreeRaquel2k17 may have only raised $75 of its $100,000 goal since its launch on Monday, but the founders are confident “America’s most beloved woman” will be better off without the girl who flaunts her “aggressive sexuality and inappropriate lust” for Bachelor Nick Viall.
Corinne even said on this weeks episode that “I’ve had to do some big girl stuff. I don’t like it.”
How will she ever survive without Raquel, you guys?!